Working on a plan

To escape, from this land

Hitting the bottle

Release the clutch, full throttle

 

Mind is set to go

feel the weight, moving slow

Stuck in a web

Hanging on til nothings left

 

Had thoughts before

Win the battle, lose the war

Fighting with myself

Put the gun, back on the shelf

 

Surrender to our ways

Stop judging, clear the haze

Stop waiting for better days

Stop waiting for better ways

Stop waiting, no delays

Love you, like the guy

Whispered mom

as she said

good night

 

Sunny beaches

Ocean embrace

Never ending smiles

On our face

 

First time hellos

A game of cards

A quiet stroll

Cutting through yards

 

Heads on the pillow

Feet finding the other

Hands wandering

Under the covers

 

A long walk to the rocks

A dive from the sky

Wall mounted mirrors

And a hot tub at night

 

A sleepy shack

And coconut cake

A simple new toy

Makes my body quake

 

Black mountain waterfall

Cozy cottage nights

Beauty abounds

Smells, sounds and sites

 

Long trail home

to my shack on Lincoln

Dogs, cats

And red wine drinkin’

 

Fun, play

Floating with ease

A life of adventure

However I please

Only I see what I see

Only I feel what I feel

Only I can say what is pretend and what is real, to me

 

You think what you think

You say what you say

But it is all just noise anyway, to me

 

What gets under my skin

Does not matter to most

Do you believe in spirits and ghosts, like me?

 

What brings tears to my eyes

Can hit in a moment’s breath

Do you believe in life after death, like me

 

What sends chills down my spine

May not happen to you

The moment when old is struck by something new, to me

 

What fills me with sadness

Floats softly through the sky

It returns for a moment and whispers good bye, to me

 

It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t matter, to me

No nothing really matters, to me

Wandering along a country path

In the distance, bright red tulips

Vibrant, warm and pulling me in

Like a lighthouse glows for her ships

 

Your lips as smooth as a flower petal

Your mouth, so hot it could bend metal

I’m tempted to ask if it would be too much

To give our lips the chance to touch

 

Hands pressed hard against hips

Standing on the edge of a cliff

Excited to think what might come next

Or if I hesitate, what I might miss

 

I look deeply into your eyes

So you know you can trust

That I am here to feel what I feel

Not here for greed and lust

 

Our warm heads and warm lips

Softly come together

We dance and sing and smile out loud

Like two birds of a feather

 

Will our first kiss be our last?

If it is, I want no regret

To enjoy it fully in this moment

Like a warm ocean’s sunset

Her heart was broken, into a million tiny little pieces, for she had loved,

and lost, again.

And then suddenly, she saw relationship from a different point of view,

and discovered that love can not be found or lost and that love is not what

she ever wanted

to begin with and suddenly her heart was no longer broken.

In fact it had never been broken. Her heart was her heart, beating reliably

without having to think about it,

and she was alive. Feeling all there was to feel.

Alive.

I searched high and I searched low

I searched in places I didn’t want to go

 

I walked the streets

I walked in the park

I walked with friends in the light

I walked alone in the dark

 

I talked to a therapist

I talked to a whore

I talked to my friends

Who just wanted to talk some more

 

I played with a basketball

I played with a guitar

I played with a knife

That cut deep and left a scar

 

I dreamed of being rich

I dreamed of being a star

I dreamed of beautiful women

In my bed, both near and far

 

I looked around the corner

I looked under the bed

I looked in my body

And I looked in my head

 

I learned how to read and write

I learned about greed and spite

I learned about the birds and the bees

I learned that life isn’t black and white

 

I felt the earth shake under my feet

I felt the rain pour on my face

I felt a calm flow through my bones

And felt fear leave without a trace

 

I listened to my teachers

I listened to the man

I listened to the fortune teller

Read the lines on my hand

 

I looked and I learned

I wanted and I yearned

I asked and I talked

I listened and I walked

To find myself

Only to discover

That hiding under the covers, all along,

Was me

What will they say when I die?

What I was a kind soul, a good friend,

A pretty good guy?

 

Will they speak of my dreams

to make the world a better place?

Never afraid to take a chance,

to stare failure right in the face.

 

Will they say I was a good son,

husband and brother?

Will they remember I was always eager

to connect one hand to another?

 

Will they remember my easy going style

and the efforts that I made,

to help others be all they could be…

or will those memories fade?fade

 

Will they talk

about my struggles to focus,

going from one idea to another

a lot of hot air and hocus pocus.

 

Or that I was lazy, a liar,

a sneak and a cheat,

trying to pretend I was perfect,

avoiding sticky issues to escape the heat.

 

Will they know about my demons,

always fighting to break free?

Never sure if I’ll amount to any good,

always torn with who I should be.

 

No I doubt they’ll bring up the ugly stuff.

Keep those memories warm and sweet.

Another opportunity lost,

To acknowledge the beauty

AND the

beast.

You fight, fight, fight

To get to the top

and when you get there

You’re stuck, like it or not

 

You say it’s not about the money

You say it’s not about the fame

But there’s a haunting voice inside of you

That wants them all to know your name

 

Was it a moment in your childhood?

Was it a strike or something said?

What made you feel so insecure

That keeps you trapped in your bed

 

I know what you’re thinking

“Hey, give me a shot”

You get trapped in the game

Lose yourself, like it or not

 

You’ll get knocked from the top

Won’t see the gift you’ve been given

The chance to finally find yourself

The chance to really start livin’

 

No, you’ll fight, fight, fight

To get back to the top

But you’ll find that no one cares

And you’re stuck, like it or not

It seems the harder that I try

the more I start to press

My body starts to fight itself

mind can t seem to rest

 

I swear next time will be different

next time I ll change

But when the next time comes around

seems to stay the same

 

I’m twisted up in knots

I’m moving fast but going slow

I’ve got to loosen up my grip

I’ve got to start letting go

 

My mind is focused on the prize

arrow pointed at the eye

But somehow I lose the nerve

lose the will to try

 

I know I’ve heard this before

keep working hard you ll get the call

But the more time I seem to spend

more I seem to fall

 

Maybe the time has finally come

hear what others have to say

And stop listening to my head

let my feelings lead the way